The Art of Putting YOU First

Ask yourself, who’s the priority in your life?  So many times, as women, we put ourselves last without even realizing it.  For one, we’re natural nurturers and thinking of others first is often second nature.  So, as a result, many of us refuse to take even a day to simply pour into ourselves, without feeling guilty, undeserving, or worse, fearful that if we’re not there, things won’t get done.

Over the years, I’ve witnessed women working without ceasing because they convince themselves that they can’t take a break, only to fall ill and be forced to do so.  In theory, the key is to not fall apart and need a break, but to take frequent breaks in an intentional effort, not to fall apart.

I’ll admit though, I love the resiliency of women, but I also cringe at our ability to parent everyone else and not ourselves.  It breaks my heart to see women crumble, because they simply won’t tell themselves when enough is enough and I feel compelled to help them create work/life balance in an effort to help them, make themselves a priority in their own lives.

So, if you’ve seeing to others and overlooking the most important person of all, I want to offer you a few tips to begin the journey of making you a priority in your universe and not feeling guilty about it.

Below, are three things you can do today to ensure that the people around you fully support you on your journey as you design a life that you love and one that doesn’t leave you last and exhausted.

  1. Make regular time for you so that your family and friends aren’t caught off guard or give you push back for doing so when you need it.
  1. Teach your tribe how to do it without you. Co-workers, your children, and your spouse need to be equipped to handle life in your absence. If they’re not, you’ve got a bigger problem. Co-workers are easier, but even then, people can behave as if though they don’t know what to do in your absence, causing you to avoid taking time off and getting much needed rest.  If and when you can, take the time off and deal with the consequences later.  You can get another job.  There’ll never be another you.
  1. Say “no” when you feel like saying no. Don’t force yourself to keep pushing when you’re sick or burnt out. If you don’t make you a priority, why should others?

In closing, your family will benefit from you learning to put you first.  They will learn the skills they need to be self-sufficient and by example, they’ll learn the benefits of self-care.  Hopefully, they will also pick up some healthy boundaries along the way as you learn to say no to what you don’t want and yes to what best serves you.  The goal is for everyone to win.  Yet, no one wins when you put you last.  Putting you first, creates a win-win situation for all and that is something to be proud of.

Terré Holmes is a Resiliency Expert, Entrepreneur, Blogger, Best-Selling Author, Maryland REALTOR, as well as a Transformational Speaker and Business Coach

Find her on IG, Twitter, LinkedIn @terreholmes  FB @theterreholmes

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